When love is involved, busyness becomes obsolete.
We make time for subjects that drive us, people who matter, and places that rejuvenate. Granted there are exceptions—fear, grief, tragedy, selfish/absentmindedness—that can prevent us from doing so. Generally though, we find time for the things that matter most: even if, for a season, that means ourselves; or our sadness, our hurt, our pain.
Sometimes it's necessary to process through and sit in the those moments. Because maybe we have to love our grief, sadness, or tragedies, in order to know our joys and triumphs; not in the sense of indulging in the heaviness, but rather in caring for it, and calling it by its name - the way you would a small child.
Because the hurt parts of you do not leave without proper goodbye's. The hurt parts of you must be cared for, acknowledged, and then nurtured into something else—something larger and more powerful than hurt or pain—which is healing. And no matter how fragmented (or delayed) that healing seems, it is worth the time, and it is necessary.
But. (Pause for dramatic effect.) Once you have cared for your grief, your pain, your sadness—once you have called it by its name and recognized its place—let it leave (or learn to leave it yourself). Because what you spend your time on will, eventually, define you; what you think about, hope for, love, or sink into.
Frequently, the things we allow to define us are toxic.
So what gives you life? What drives you? What do you find yourself doing (during the day) instead of work? On breaks? Poetry, music, new books, articles, research? [Maybe puppy memes don't apply, maybe they do.]
We are not static beings, but sometimes we act as such. We allow the toxic things to stay, instead of investing in something harder, unknown; something that requires us to take a step alone. We're scared.
But I think it's time for fear to stop hindering progress—specifically the messy, internal kind. So let go of the weight; or maybe learn to acknowledge that it's there at all. Make time for the things (and people) that add depth and truth and joy to your everyday. And if you have the privilege of time and space to identify what you love, and what you want to pursue, then stop waiting.
You were made for this moment. And there will always be things to dwell on, or fall back into, or distract; but you—one-in-a-gazillion human being—were made for right now. And this moment is passing.
In Summary: I think I identified what hinders (my) internal progress, today.
And, in Summary: I think I identified what I love, today.
Hint: It's you. (+ trees/laughing/joy/writing posts like this when I should just go home/toddlers.)
Still. Mostly you.